Thursday, March 10, 2011

Pelican Bay

We are staying in the Pelican Bay area of Naples, FL. A lovely sterile, antiseptic area with never a piece of trash to be seen anywhere and where each blade of grass looks as if it is combed and the leaves are blown off the walks daily by the traveling worker bees who swarm everywhere.

It takes some time to get used to the traffic patterns as Pelican Bay allows no left turns. Everything here leans (veers?) to the right. Using the word “left” is frowned upon unless used despairingly against members of an opposing party. Someone told me that to buy property here you must swear that you and your entire family are Republicans, have always been Republicans and will always be Republicans.

There are many lovely homes here. Some newspaper listings show bargains for only $12,900,000. Hurry down. And condominiums can be purchased for only $2,000,000 and up. They sport fancy names such as Beaulieu-sur-Mer, Saint-Raphael, Les quelques privilégiés (French for The Privileged Few ), Je suis riche, vous n'êtes pas (French for I’m Rich, You’re Not) and others.

As you can imagine, security is very tight. Almost all residential areas have iron gates next to a guard house. I’ve never looked into a guard house but am sure therein are vicious dogs and guards armed with AK-47’s. Republicans must attack each other a lot.

On the community bulletin board are the usual notices, Bentley For Sale, Maids Needed along with some more interesting notes; Invest in WaterBoards R Us –not just for Terrorists anymore. Kids misbehaving? Wayward Spouse? Get in on the ground floor. For more information, call Dickhead Chaney at 555 – xxx-xxxx.

Kite Man

Kite Man

Tonight we met the kite man. We were having a glass or two of wine (Happy Hour, $3.00 a glass, 4:00 – 6:00 PM) waiting for the sun to set with all the other Happy Hour attendees using the sunset as an excuse when on the beach appeared a man with two bags. One I thought would be a tripod and the other I expected to carry a camera. But Bill (we found out his name later) started pulling rods and brightly colored cloth and worked for thirty minutes or so assembling what turned out to be a very colorful kite.

When all was put together, he sat himself down on a chair, gave the string a yank and a beautiful kite arose. Drink in one hand, roll of kite string in the other he watched as the kite unfurled its tail seemingly waving at the people on the deck (Happy Hour, wine @ $3.00 a glass).

This was our twelfth or was it thirteenth consecutive night of coming to see the sunset. And every night, like clockwork it did set but it was not the glorious sunset promised by the Naples, FL Chamber of Commerce. “Come to Naples, See the Most Beautiful Sunsets You’ve Ever Seen.” And enjoy Happy Hour, wine $3.00 a glass, 4:00 to 6:00 PM. But the wine is good and Bill flies a good kite!